Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Okay I want to attend, but you didn't say when or where.
A: That's right! You have to email us ([email protected]) to get the time and place of our meetings. This way we can get an idea of how many people are attending, where you heard of us, and a basic knowledge of who you are. (No names or jobs will be asked, just a basic "I'm an 89 year old submissive who likes bondage.") This also helps us to vet out hostile people who would otherwise enjoy a good party crash.
Q: I am {a dom, a sub, a switch, gay, straight, bisexual, transsexual, single, part of a couple, polyamorous, black, white, purple, newbie, seasoned veteran, old, young, fat, skinny, disabled} -- is it still okay if I attend?
A: Of course! As long as you're kinky, you're welcome!
Q: Isn't BDSM just abuse?
A: BDSM is about consent, trust, and communication. Here is an article from Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/all-about-sex/201206/loving-introduction-bdsm. In the DSM-V, BDSM and fetishes are no longer listed as a psychiatric disorder.
Q: I'm under 18. Can I attend?
A: No. You must be a legal adult to attend these meetings. We're very sorry and realize that younger people need support too, but no. And yes, anyone who looks like they're under 18 will have to present ID.
Q:What if there's some creep who leers at me the entire time and then follows me out to my car and kidnaps me?!
A: First, calm down. That whole scenario is not as common as one might think, though we do understand. We want everyone to feel comfortable and at ease. If you do feel that another person is making inappropriate advances or making you feel uncomfortable, come see one of the organizers immediately after the meeting ends. Not only will we try to address the issue so that you will feel confident in returning, but one of us will walk you out to your car and see that you are safely on your way.
Q:What if someone from my work/school/social circle is there?
A: And? What do you think they're doing there? That's right - the same thing as you. They're just as vulnerable and hoping that you'll be as adult about it as they are. (You may even find that you and your co-worker will become friends, or at least trade the occasional knowing smile.)
Q: What should I wear? Can I wear my scene clothes/accessories?
A: Whatever you want. Comfortable. Casual. Show up in grey sweatsuit pants and a t-shirt if you feel so inclined. As far as scene wear goes, it's fine so long as your genitals and nipples are kept under wraps and you make it into the meeting room in a manner which will not attract any undue attention. Use common sense and good judgment.
Q: So, um, I have some pretty weird kinks. Are you going to be okay with them?
A: Sure thing; they're probably not as weird as you think anyway. Black Monday Society practices YKINMKBYKIOK (Your Kink is not my Kink, but Your Kink is OK) . The only fetishes that we do not tolerate are non-consensual rape, child molestation (actual children - ageplay is perfectly acceptable) and bestiality (again, actual animals), as these cannot truly be consensual.
Q: Hey I sent you guys an e-mail and haven't gotten a response!
A: We're very sorry that we haven't replied yet, but rest assured, we will as soon as we can. There are only two of us running everything so we may not have gotten to your e-mail yet. YOUR E-MAIL IS IMPORTANT TO US, so please don't think that we are ignoring you. Check your Spam folder, If we haven't e-mailed you back within five days, please assume that we did not receive your e-mail and resend it.
Q: Drugs? Arriving drunk? Weapons? Cameras?
A: No! No! No! Why are you even still reading this response?! No!!